Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Ismyschoolgoodenoughitis?

The latest in a rash of irrational, stress related illnesses I seem to be contracting... ismyschoolgoodenoughitis?

This disease presents itself at least once a month, and worsens with news of particularly good grades.  It is the constant worry that my college is somehow sub-par, and that my transcripts will be good only for the amusement of the adcoms to whom I (eventually) submit an application.

The university I am attending is an accredited, private institution in my state.  However, it is known to most  people mostly due to its focus on online education and curriculum geared toward adult learning, corporate-focused degrees, and graduate degrees in business.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't have a bad reputation... and that is kind of the problem.  It doesn't seem to have a reputation at all as an avenue to medical school.  I am enrolled in their Biology program, and I have to say that I LOVE IT!  Having been to the state university years ago, I can appreciate the smaller class sizes and the more approachable feel of the faculty.

I guess my worry stems from the fact that I expected school to be much more impersonal, difficult, and competitive.  This university is none of those things.  Well, it is difficult, but I am working my a** off to make good grades.

I also worry that even though I'm making outstanding grades now, those I earned 10 years ago were not always as stellar.  Honestly, after the second year, they were pretty much crap.  I am torn between retaking every class I've ever completed, or simply do the sciences/math and hope an adcom will see the substantial improvement.

See, I am such a headcase that I have already slipped into another malady for which I'm too tired to invent a clever name at the moment.  Well, I got rained on all day at work, so I need to strip down and get some sleep.  Tomorrow will be a better day... or at least a different one.

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